An Unhappy Frozen Yogurt Story
by WBTR Member Ron Glaser
This story does not have a happy ending.
At 2 o’clock in the afternoon, my wife Beth and I were driving back from Richmond, Virginia to Haymarket, Virginia. a two-hour drive, when we decided to stop by her Mother’s house on the way home to take care of some things her Mother (88 years old) asked us to do. The clock had fallen off the wall after a cleaning lady dusted it too hard and the date and time needed resetting before hanging the clock back up. The refrigerator door had a lot of moisture on it and needed checking. The toilet was not completely flushing. And a red warning light had suddenly appeared on the Toyota Camry her Mother still occasionally drove.
This was all going to take some time and I was going to be a little tired to start tackling these jobs after driving two hours. I needed some energy to fortify myself. So I started a conversation:
Ron: “How about if we stop at Zingas and get some frozen yogurt before we go to your Mother’s?”
Beth: “With all that traffic on route 29? No.”
Ron: “There shouldn’t be that much traffic. It’ll be going the other direction.”
Beth: There’s always traffic on 29.
Ron: So it will take us a little longer.
Beth: “You really don’t need yogurt.”
Ron: “Yes I do!”
Ron: “I’ll just get something simple. A little vanilla and chocolate, and a little hot fudge sauce. I don’t’ even need toppings. Maybe just a few Oreos.”
Beth: “You don’t need it.”
Ron: “I know I don’t NEED it. No one NEEDS frozen yogurt.”
Ron: “You know, if I had a heart attack right now, and died, you would really regret that you didn’t let me get the frozen yogurt.”
Beth: “I think I would just regret the heart attack.”
Just then, as we were coming to a stoplight in Warrenton, Virginia, we saw fire trucks and police cars about a block away facing us with their lights flashing. There must have been a big accident.
Ron: “I bet all those trucks and police cars are going for frozen yogurt.”
Beth: “You are a sick puppy!”
Ron: “We need to take a detour.”
So we did. This added another ten minutes onto our trip.
Ron: “After I check the clock, refrigerator and toilet, I’m going to have to take the car for a test ride to see if I can figure out what’s happening with that dashboard light.”
Beth: “A test drive? What, to get yogurt? No.”
Ron: “You know, this story is not going to have a happy ending cause I’m not getting frozen yogurt today. I am going to write a story about this and it will have a sad ending. People don’t like sad endings.”
I did not get my frozen yogurt that day. I told you this story would not have a happy ending.